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She said she still can't believe he's gone and is still grievingfor him and that's why she chooses to numb herself out. It was too much for her to endure the pain of loss all the time.Dope took the edge off.I started the pickup truck and drove to the Portofino Inn, walked in proudly and confidently with Lisa on my arm, and charmed the clerks with my nonsensical patter that I often do to build rapport with people. I put my credit card upfor the room deposit and for checkout and Lisa said she was impressed that I had a credit card of my own at my age.I told her I was a hustler and was very good at making money as a sales guy. I wasn't bragging, I just wanted her to knowwhat I do and where my money comes from. I didn't want to think I was a dope dealer.We got into the room and she oooh'd and awwww'd at the view of the ocean and waves breaking in the balcony window.The room was big and was decorated by someone who knew what they were doing, and I felt excited and a sense of. I was given this name and told that it will be mine. It means magical stone. I also was told that being true would become a magical experience for my life."That's who I am. I am Natoomah Stone. The stone needs polishing but it is the real me. I will be true to who I am. Over time, I hope to regain my pride. I know I am attractive on the outside but the inside needs more cleansing before I am satisfied with who I am and can be the kind of person that I want me to be."She looked at Eddie a bit wistfully. "I'll go back to my pack and rifle and leave now." She started to get up.Eddie said, "Wait. Let's go to the beach and the ocean. Water has a cleansing effect on many people. You should try it. We'll enjoy it."Natoomah was crying but nodded to him. Eddie took her hand and they left for the beach.I said, "David, that was brave and true." He just nodded and let me cry. He held me close gently rocking me.A few minutes later, I kissed my husband and said, "We're going to the beach and then.
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